


Spock's Harem

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Incandescent Hearts [35]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ann C. Crispin, Developing Relationship, Episode 16. Season 3. Injun Kid. Little House On The Prairie., Episode Related, Episode: s01e28 The City on the Edge of Forever, Episode: s02e03 Friday's Child, Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Episode: s02e19 The Immunity Syndrome, Episode: s03e12 Plato's Stepchildren, Episode: s03e23 All Our Yesterdays, Farting, First Time, Injun Kid. Little House On The Prairie. Season 3. Episode 16., Little House on the Prairie - Freeform, M/M, Nipple Play, Non-Consential, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spanking Elements, Spanking References, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Triggers, Violence, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-13 09:49:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15361824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: "There is something I have been holding in for over ten years," Spock growled.  "But no more."That's when McCoy knew what was coming, and there was nothing he could do about it.Being plunged into a doomed planet's ice age and rescued by a beautiful cave woman unleash primitive urges in Spock which endanger McCoy's life and jeopardize their return to their own time.Based on “All Our Yesterdays."An episode related fic.





	1. If Winter Comes

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains quotes from TOS episodes, a TOS movie, and an episode of "Little House On The Prairie." It also features a character borrowed from Ann C. Crispin books. "All Our Yesterdays" references are throughout the fic. A listing of other sources are at the end of each chapter.
> 
> The first two chapter titles are taken from the famous quote: "If winter comes, can spring be far behind?" In "Ode to the West Wind," the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley identifies himself with West Wind, which is both the destroyer and the preserver of life. Life is a cycle of death and birth, so if someone dies then he also takes a new birth. 
> 
> Chapter 3 takes its title "Another Time, Another Place" from a couple of movies and from a spiritual that has been recorded by various artists. It refers to the fresh start that the future brings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Spock and McCoy are plunged into a treacherous ice age on a doomed planet, they are saved by a beautiful, lonely woman. But new danger awaits them as McCoy is sapped of his strength and Spock begins to revert back to the savage behavior of his ancestors.
> 
>  

McCoy awoke under a pile of animal skins. He slowly stretched his cramped and bruised muscles over the rock pallet he lay upon. His bed was hardly comfortable, but he was safe for the moment. At least he wasn't as cold or as confused anymore, either. Warmth had a lot to do with that. But being out of the fierce wind and tearing snowflakes had a lot more to do with it, too.

It was great just to get warmed up again. For awhile out in that blizzard, he’d thought that this storm was going to mean the end of life for him. Then that damn stubborn Vulcan wouldn’t leave him to go get help. Truth be told, if Spock had been floundering in the snow and telling McCoy to leave him, McCoy wouldn’t have done it, either. It would’ve been a death sentence for the one left behind. Left alone, getting colder and weaker by the moment, losing heart because of being alone, the person would’ve quickly succumbed to death.

He and Spock had both known that being alone meant death.

Besides, crew mates stay together. No more arguing about that fact. Period.

But McCoy had needed to try to send Spock on his way. Survival of the species runs strong in its members, and Spock might’ve been able to live on his own without McCoy's hindering his progress. McCoy was just slowing him down and could even be the cause of Spock’s eventual death

But Spock had stubbornly refused to leave, although McCoy loudly declaimed it and privately thanked him. McCoy did not want to be alone. Being alone in the best of conditions is bad enough. But staring Death in the face alone is terrifying.

Spock’s refusal to leave him had probably saved his life because they had been found and led to safety a few minutes later. They had no idea who the mysterious figure was who had appeared to help them nor knew where it led them. But anything had to be better than being out in the brutal weather conditions of this frozen world.

As for Spock leaving McCoy, finding the mysterious stranger, and finding McCoy back-- that probably would’ve never happened. McCoy doubted if Spock could’ve relocated him, even if Spock had been gone for only a few moments. Disorientation happens quickly in swirling snow, and Spock probably would’ve failed in attempts to find McCoy, even if he was only a few feet away.

But now, thank goodness, their prospects of survival had improved greatly with the appearance of the mysterious stranger who seemed to be leading them to safety.

Then to enter that cave and to have warm air embrace him again was one of the greatest sensations that McCoy had ever felt. And that included having once held Jim Kirk’s beating heart in his hands in sickbay and another time when he had had rough sex with a female Gorn.

Don’t ask him about the Gorn episode. He was drunk, it was late, and she was really pissed off later about his touching her. Hell, touching her didn’t even start to cover what he had done to her. If she chose to use a euphemism for the wild sex they’d had together, maybe it was the only way she could accept what had happened.

For his part, McCoy was stunned and nauseated at what she looked like in daylight and without the benefit of drink to mask her true looks. However, he dimly recalled how ravishingly beautiful she'd looked in the moonlit alley where he'd first encountered her behind the late-night bar. Perhaps what he'd thought were impassioned encouragements from her had actually been angry accusations at being raped. He hadn't blamed her for acting indignant later.

She had given him choice of the litter, though. Damn cute when they’re born, too. Just avoid the teeth. They’re born with a full set, and they are razor sharp. Makes it difficult to work up any parental feeling when they act so snappish, though. He'd gracious let her keep her whole litter, but he gets a picture from them every year on their birthdays and an update of what they are doing.

Why McCoy should be thinking of that female Gorn now puzzled him. But he quickly forgot her as Spock eased him to the rock pallet and covered him with tanned animal hides. Spock lifted McCoy’s legs up because McCoy was so weak, then sat beside him and tried to doctor him. Even though McCoy snarled, he was grateful that Spock hadn’t left him out in the storm. He was also grateful for the touch of Spock’s hands on his face and shoulders and the worry on Spock's face. McCoy just couldn’t say it.

And McCoy wished that he could. He wished that he could thank Spock for his steadfastness and loyalty when they were in the snowstorm and for his concern and gentle hands inside the cave. And he was particularly grateful when Spock leaned down toward his face. Spock's one arm was on the other side of McCoy, and the maneuver was almost an embrace. In his hazy condition, McCoy wanted to hook his arm around Spock's neck and bring Spock's head down to a more interesting place, like two inches from his lips.

That was crazy! McCoy chided himself. There was not that kind of relationship between him and Spock! He must be really ill, he decided, as he lay back with a moan.

"Doctor?" With a worried look on his face, Spock leaned down to within the desired two inches from McCoy's lips.

But McCoy was no longer interested in anything but rest. He had to give in to the rigors of exhaustion and the frostbite that had beset his extremities. He sank into a coma-like sleep and trusted his life to Spock and the mysterious stranger who had rescued them.

 

Later, after McCoy had slept, he gave thanks for the chain of circumstances that had happened to insure his survival so long on this doomed planet. It was indeed a miracle that he was still breathing. And he intended to keep on doing that, no matter what was required of him. He was stubborn, and he was going to live.

And if he didn’t, somebody sure as hell was gonna hear about it!

 

As McCoy rested on the rock pallet and tried to regain his strength, he thought back to their arrival in this land of ice and snow and of what a change in climate that they had experienced in just a moment’s time. He and Spock had been in a library in a temperate climate, then they were plunged into frigid cold. The temperature change had taken their breath away, and they had had no idea of where to head for shelter in this new world.

Then McCoy had fallen and Spock had refused to leave him. Instead, Spock had hauled him to his feet, pulled McCoy’s arm around his shoulder, and set off into the storm once more. Even though McCoy was exhausted and struggling, he was aware of Spock’s arm circled around his back and curled around his ribs to grab a handful of McCoy’s right breast. Two of Spock’s long fingers even had executed a distracting nipple squeeze on him and was milking him back and forth as the two men stumbled along.

That nipple pinching had felt great, and the sensations that it created had registered in McCoy’s nether regions. He was even afraid that his penis might suffer frostbite because it was sticking out so much. But, oh, such a wonderful sensation in his breast!

So involved was McCoy with the delicious rubbing on his lucky nipple, that he nearly missed seeing the hooded figure when it first appeared before them and beckoned them to follow. Equally startling was the warm cave where they were led and the face and figure of the beautiful young woman when she pulled back her hood.

Then it got a little cloudy after they were momentarily safe. All that McCoy recalled was sinking into the bed of animal skins and being conscious of Spock tending to him, feeding him meat broth and water, and giving him a life line to cling to. And sitting beside him on that rock pallet and leaning over him with a long arm cocooning him. 

That cocooning felt good to McCoy. And Spock’s leaning over him more than reassured or protected McCoy. It tempted McCoy. McCoy wanted to reach up, hook an arm around Spock’s neck, and pull him down to McCoy’s waiting lips and body. After that delicious nipple pinching, McCoy was more than ready for further action.

McCoy loved playing that scene over and over as he drifted in and out of sleep. All he had to have done was to have reached up, and Spock would've been snared.

The only problem was that any overt overture by McCoy might startle Spock and make him withdraw. Their relationship would've changed in an instant, and McCoy didn't know if it would be good or bad after the change. So McCoy wisely cooled his ardor and gave into the illness that held him in its grip. It was probably a wiser course of action for the immediate future, seeing as how exhausted McCoy was when sex wasn’t driving him.

Spock was worried about him; McCoy could tell. As he drifted in and out of consciousness, McCoy could sense that Spock hovered nearby. Spock was McCoy’s only connection to any world that he had ever known, and he realized that he was Spock’s only link. No wonder that Spock was striving to keep him alive. A person likes to hold onto something familiar for as long as possible.

Spock was so gentle with him. As soon as McCoy was strong enough to be very aware of his new world, he realized that Spock had tended to him as gently as a mother or a nurse would. Spock was certainly doing everything to keep his crewmate alive. He was probably the only reason that McCoy was. He doubted that the woman would've been strong enough to have handled him by herself.

And then there was that buddy thing between them. One that they’d really never acknowledged, but one that had apparently been there all of the time. Wouldn’t Jim Kirk be surprised and pleased to know that his two friends could depend on each other when they needed to?

But what McCoy could feel through Spock’s hands was telling him that there was more than just friendship and concern that Spock was feeling for him. There was a love there for McCoy that Spock had never voiced. But his feelings were coming through his hands, so McCoy clung to them. Oh, how McCoy was needing to know about what Spock’s hands were telling him! Oh, how he longed to reach up and snag Spock around that sexy Vulcan neck and pull him down to kissing level! He was certain that Spock would melt to him and crawl into the nest of warm animal skins to cuddle.

But there were other times when McCoy awoke that he sensed Spock’s absence. He could hear low voices and knew that Spock conversed with the beautiful woman who had rescued them. Zarabeth. She called herself Zarabeth. And Spock could say her name like he was caressing it.

And now there was more than conversing. McCoy could tell by the more intimate tones of their voices. And they were eating. Meat. They were eating meat. Spock said that he was eating meat! And enjoying it!

No, that wasn’t right! Spock mustn’t eat meat! Who knew what it would do to his metabolism that was accustomed to a vegetarian diet? What would it do to his principles? What would it do to his behavior?!

And laughter. Was that laughter that McCoy heard? What did Spock and the woman have to laugh about in this frozen world?

And why were they shouting joyously now?! Why were they reveling in their delight of each other? Why were they enjoying their company and McCoy was back here in this shadowy nook all by himself?

More peals of laughter rang out. The woman's excited, eager. Spock's low and strange to hear because McCoy had never heard Spock laugh before.

McCoy drifted off again, thinking that the low laughter sounded diabolical.

 

McCoy felt hands fumbling in his pants pocket. They were getting awfully close to the McCoy family jewels, and that was forbidden territory unless a specific invitation had been issued. And McCoy hadn't issued one.

Then he realized who it had to be. “Spock? What are you doing?” he asked feebly. “What are you after?”

“Lube,” Spock answered shortly. “I know that you are always packing."

“How would you know about my habits? And why would you know about the uses for lube?” He frowned. “And why do you want my lube?”

Spock held the prized tube of lubricant aloft. “Why else, Doctor? I am going to have a romantic assignation with Zarabeth.” One eyebrow went up in triumph to match the smirk on his face. “After all of these years, Mr. Spock is having himself a woman. And he is going to enjoy it.” He slapped McCoy on the hip as he jumped to his feet with uncharacteristic enthusiasm and a laugh that verged on the hysterical.

“What the fuck?!” McCoy protested. His hip stung from the slap from Spock’s broad hand. He unconsciously rubbed his leg against the rock beneath him so that he could keep his flesh stinging longer from the memory of Spock’s powerful slap. What would it take to get more of those?

But consciously, McCoy had Spock’s immediate welfare in mind. He frowned with concern. “You’ve got to be crazier than hell! You’ve got to pace yourself, man, with this sex thing! Otherwise, you’ll kill yourself!”

Spock smiled wisely. “Nobody has ever died from sex yet, Doctor.” He leaned over and softly slapped McCoy’s cheek with his open palm. “Oh, the heart might give out eventually, but not now. That would just be too cruel of Fate.”

The blow stung a little. Not as much as the spank on his rump, but enough to make McCoy’s cheek tingle. Enough to make McCoy yearn from more. Especially if it was coming from Spock’s hand. McCoy envisioned that long, dry, green hand warming with the exercise of slapping McCoy's naked bottom with a steady rhythm and of McCoy writhing in exotic pain over Spock's equally naked knees--

McCoy yanked himself out of that erotic daydream because Spock was not headed in his direction with lust burning in his dark eyes. Spock was going to 'Her.' And it quelled McCoy's self-lit fires of passion like a dishpan of ice water to his overheated groin.

Spock gave McCoy a wise look. “And I will not die from this sexual encounter. That is just wishful thinking. Although I do hope to experience the ‘little death’ of the sexual climax.” Spock straightened. “Wish me luck, Doctor?”

McCoy just gave him a horrified look as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Which he couldn’t.

Whatever it was, McCoy couldn’t speak. Not that he wouldn’t, he just couldn’t. But Spock didn’t know that. He thought that McCoy was being mean and petty. And maybe even a little jealous. Spock had no idea that McCoy was just plain flabbergasted.

Spock finally gave him the equivalent of a mental shrug and left him. A few moments later, McCoy thought better of it. Spock might be headed to his death by sex, and McCoy might’ve missed his only chance to tell his friend goodbye.

“Good luck, Spock,” he muttered and wondered if Spock with his Vulcan hearing could pick up what he’d said.

The woman shrieked with laughter then, and McCoy realized that his blessing would’ve gone ignored by Spock even if Spock could’ve heard it. Besides, Spock and Zarabeth had other things on their minds, and they did not include McCoy.

 

Later, Spock came swaggering back to the part of the cave where McCoy was sheltered. Spock had his head thrust back and he was strutting with his fists planted at his waist. He would’ve been glowing if he could. McCoy figured that a light display would be coming next.

“I suppose that means you were successful,” McCoy noted, not too much in the mood to be offering congratulations. “I hope you don’t insist on crowing like a rooster or bellowing like a bull or something as equally male barnyard related.”

“Doctor! I was a success!”

“Yes. I could tell. It sounded like elephants going at it. I think that the walls of the cave shook one time.”

“As well they should.” Spock smirked. “She was a virgin.” Then he winked, actually winked. “But no more.”

“Not with her voice, either. She’s sure got a set of lungs on her. I suppose you want to do something manly now, like ripping your shirt open so you can show off your chest hair or pissing in the ocean.”

“That is a good idea. But what could it be?” Spock asked. “It has to be something extraordinary. Something I've never dared to do before.” He snapped his fingers as he beamed and his eyes flashed. “I know! And it is so fitting!”

Spock bent at the waist, grunted once, sighed with pleasure, and let out a tremendous fart that echoed in the cave.

McCoy jumped and blinked. What the hell?!

Zarabeth could be heard giggling in the background.

“Ah! That feels better!” Spock bragged. “I’ve been holding in that intestinal gas for over ten years!”

“Jeez!” McCoy complained as he waved away the floating miasma around him. “You even fart green! You have been saving it up, haven’t you?”

“At Star Fleet Academy, it was not allowed for cadets and then for officers to admit to human frailties such as flatulence.”

“Spock, there are some things that are not covered by the Rule Book, but are still permitted! Nobody can keep you from farting! Restrictions can cover only so much! Star Fleet Command can’t force you to maintain a tight pucker on your asshole! Sometimes you just gotta let Nature take its course. You can fart if you feel the need.”

“You are so right, Doctor. And I propose to clear up that oversight right now.”

Spock leaned over even further and farted some more until it was sputtering out slowly like air around a rip in a frayed bicycle tire.

“Oh, Holy Hell!” McCoy protested as he waved and coughed. “Where are you getting all that?! You gotta be ten pounds lighter! It’s a wonder that you didn’t float in here! How could you be manufacturing all of that on a high protein diet?! I could understand it better if you were eating only grains and fruits and vegetables! And it even stinks worse because you are eating meat!”

Spock roared with laughter.

“I hope that you didn’t grin at Zarabeth like that! That leer would curdle milk!”

“I wasn’t interested in curdling milk, Doctor,” Spock said as he sat on the edge of McCoy’s bed. “I had other plans for her breasts.” He began messing with the edge of McCoy’s coverings, then he looked intently up at McCoy.

“Just as I have other plans for you,” Spock said.

“What the hell--” McCoy protested as he raised himself up on his elbows.

”There is something else that I have been holding in for over ten years," Spock growled. "But no more."

”You better stop acting so crazy!” McCoy fumed. Spock was getting out of line, and McCoy did not like it. Besides, Spock’s behavior was beginning to make him nervous.

Spock flicked back the animal skins, exposing McCoy’s legs.

“Hey! I’ll get cold!”

“You won’t notice the cold, Doctor," Spock assured him in low, ingratiating tones that McCoy did not like. "I guarantee it.”

”What the hell are you talking about?!” McCoy demanded, afraid at last. He was weak and Spock was already stronger than he was. There was so way he could defend himself. And Spock was acting so strangely and saying such suggestive things.

”You just be a good little woman and appreciate all that you are going to get. Who knows? I might even let you suck my cock when I get tired of screwing your asshole. I would allow that just because it would amuse me to watch you belittle yourself. You have spent so much of our time together belittling me." Spock's eyes got steely dark. "Did you not believe that there would ever be a day of retribution for all of that prejudice?”

McCoy sucked in his breath and his eyes got big. That’s when he knew what was coming, and there was nothing he could do about it. Besides, he was paralyzed with fear. But stronger than that, he felt a thrill of perverse anticipation.

Spock had seen the naked look of interest mixed in with fear go across McCoy’s face, and he smirked. “Cannot wait, can you? Well, I will not deny you any longer. But just in case you have second thoughts when I do not wish to be distracted, I believe that I will apply a preventative to keep you from moving around too much.” And with that, Spock reached up and struck McCoy across the face hard enough to stun him and prevent him from moving or protecting himself.

But the blow had not been hard enough to knock out McCoy; it just stunned him. Spock wanted McCoy to be aware of everything, including his helplessness.

“This has been a long time coming, Doctor,” Spock snarled. “I intend to make it last as long as I possibly can. But however long it seems to me, it will be much, much longer for you." He smirked with pleasure. "Of that, I can assure you.”

Apparently, Spock didn't want either one of them to miss a single thing.

Spock’s eyes narrowed, and he looked hateful. “I will make you pay for every time that you referred to me as ‘a pointed-eared bastard.’ I do not like that term, Doctor. I do not believe that I ever did! And you will not like it, either, by the time that I have finished with you! You will rue each time that the expression passed your hateful lips!”

As Spock flipped McCoy on his stomach and tore at the clothing covering his buttocks, all that McCoy could hope for was that there was enough lube left for Spock to have coitus with him without doing any damage to either one of them. For as afraid for himself as he was, McCoy was more afraid for Spock. A Vulcan should not be feeling or showing this much emotion. It wouldn’t be good for Spock.

And then McCoy forgot all about Spock’s welfare as Spock tore into his virgin anus. Spock was getting two virgins that day. Not many men could boast of that. Too bad that there were no other guys around to congratulate Spock on his feat, because McCoy certainly wouldn't. Or couldn't.

In fact, all McCoy could do was to scream and scream as Spock hammered inside him. McCoy was not in the mood to congratulate either one of them for a First Time.

McCoy forgot about being brave. He forgot about being aloof. He descended down to a primitive level with Spock and concentrated on simply surviving. All else was forgotten, especially that they had both once been civilized men.

Then a blessed darkness took away all of McCoy's pain and fear, and he became just a floppy toy that Spock was brutalizing. But Spock kept hammering away, until his blood lust was finally sated.

For that time.

 

Consciousness came back slowly to McCoy. He hurt. He hurt all over. Especially inside. Outer muscles were strained and bruised. But that was nothing compared to his inner pain from the rape and the psychic pain of Spock's betrayal. Other things had changed, too. McCoy was now wearing animal skins, the same as the woman. He vaguely remembered Spock manipulating his body while he was barely conscious and unaware of what was happening. He simply hoped that Spock didn't want to get at him again, and thankfully Spock didn't. Now McCoy realized that the reason why Spock was handling him without further sexual intercourse was to clothe him in the soft, warm garments that felt so heavenly against his skin.

Spock approached him and McCoy cringed. Without a word, Spock showed him his medical tricorder. Then he silently tried to heal as much of McCoy as he could. Maybe Spock was repentant and wished to absolve his sins. McCoy closed his eyes and allowed him to work. He even began to dose as his body hurt less. Spock's hands were amazing and almost as soothing as the tricorder. Maybe the rape had been a brutal mistake, and everything would be okay between them from then on.

That line of thinking lasted until McCoy realized that Spock was turning him over and spreading McCoy's legs apart. Then McCoy realized that the animal skins allowed Spock to get at him easier. And the gentle healing had been done so that Spock could get at him again quicker.

As betrayal washed over him, McCoy tried to stay calm and to breathe with Spock's thrusts. Then he noticed that Spock was not as savage as he had been with the first attack. McCoy hardened his heart about that, though. Gentleness was not coming from concern for McCoy's wellbeing. Spock probably had no idea of how unhealed McCoy was inside and did not want to ruin his playground.

As the days passed, Spock began to act more deranged, but there was nothing wrong with his sexual prowess. He was keeping two people more than happy with his attentions. Zarabeth was just more open with her appreciation, though. McCoy didn’t even let Spock know that he welcomed his advances. 

After the first brutal attack, McCoy learned how to prepare himself both physically and psychologically for further encounters with Spock. He even allowed himself to think that it was lovemaking and not rapes. He longed for more refinement and tenderness from the Vulcan, but Spock seemed incapable of any sort of gentleness with him. Zarabeth was another matter. With her, Spock was kind and loving. He saved his dark side for McCoy, and then he turned heathen.

But then there were other times, times long past when Spock's saturation point for sex with McCoy had been reached, but times when he had not yet left McCoy's side. Times when Zarabeth slept in her lonely bed by herself and knew not to complain. Times when Spock lay on his side and pulled McCoy to him in a loving manner and held him that way all the rest of the long freezing night. These were the nights that McCoy savored and lived for. For those were the nights when he felt beloved. And treasured. And respected. And wanted. He would have done anything for Spock on those nights, for he had grown to yearn for their encounters, too. Oh, not the brutal sex. But the kindness. The sweetness. The tenderness. The loving.

Sometimes the tenderness nearly made McCoy weep. And he would tremble as he faced Spock and inched toward him in a hesitant manner, hoping for more gentleness from the hands that he realized he now loved. And sometimes the gentleness was there as Spock's warm palms and long fingers would stroke every inch of McCoy's nakedness beneath the warm animal skins that surrounded them. And then Spock's mouth would be on him, on his tender flesh in hidden places that few people had ever touched. But someone was touching those secret places now. Not only with hands and fingers, but with lips and tongue and teeth. And McCoy would want more and more and more. And Spock would give and give until McCoy thought that he couldn't breathe for the fires that were consuming him.

And McCoy would explode with passion and long to throw back the restraining animal hides that weighted them down. But he knew better. He knew that it would break the illusion. And McCoy so wanted the illusion of love, perhaps more than the Vulcan who was just learning of his sexual appetites in the bowels of a frozen cave.

And then Spock would roll McCoy over and stroke him and entice him until McCoy would open his thighs to Spock's lovemaking. It was not a question of if, but when. And McCoy would glory in this ultimate perfection as the two of them would make that part of the cave glow with the fire which they had created in themselves and in each other. And it was good. So, so, so good!

At those times McCoy could almost make himself believe that loving feelings passed between him and Spock.

Almost.

Then had come that one night, that night when Spock must have been troubled about something. That had been when he had come slowly, reluctantly, almost shyly, toward McCoy's body. McCoy had not understood until Spock had crossed his arms over his chest and brought his knees up in a fetal position. Succor, he was needing succor, and sympathy, but did not know how to ask. But McCoy had understood and had molded himself around Spock as well as he could with Spock's extremities being so bunched up in front of him the way that they were.

"Shh," McCoy had shushed. "There, there, darlin,' it's all right. Whatever's the trouble, I won't let it hurt you. Shh, shh, now sleep, darlin.' Sleep. You're safe with me."

McCoy had soothed and petted and hugged Spock for what seemed like hours until Spock finally slept and McCoy could gather Spock against him in his arms. McCoy had smiled then and sighed, had run his hand over that head of silky hair, and had finally slept himself. But all through the night, all through his dreams, McCoy could feel his arms wrapped around Spock and knew that Spock welcomed his love and his succor and protection.

Spock was gone from his arms and his bed the next morning, but McCoy was not sad. He still had the memory of that wonderful night. Nothing could rob him of that. Not even the return that next night of a brutal Spock.

No, McCoy would always have the memory of that one perfect night.

That had been the best.

But generally the nights when Spock selected him did not pass in a gentle fashion. That's why the tender ones spent in Spock's arms were so special for McCoy. It was one of the few things that kept him sane in this horrifying nightmare in which he now had found himself.

Spock could take all of his angst and growing inhibitions out on McCoy. And it seemed to McCoy that Spock was getting worse with him, and part of it was Zarabeth’s fault. A theory began to form in McCoy’s mind and then a plan. He knew that the Spock of old, the kind-hearted friend who had entered this world with him, was still inside this Spock somewhere.

McCoy just had to reach him somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other references:
> 
> "Wish me luck, Doctor?"  
> McCoy couldn't speak.  
> Spock finally gave him the equivalent of a mental shrug and left him.  
> "Good luck, Spock," McCoy muttered. (The Immunity Syndrome)
> 
> A Vulcan should not be feeling or showing this much emotion. (Plato's Stephildren)


	2. Can Spring Be Far Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As McCoy struggles to remain alive long enough to leave the doomed planet of Sarpeidon, Spock is torn between staying with the woman he has come to love and returning to the life he was born to live. And what awaits them if they do manage to escape? Does Sarpeidon still exist in their time?

McCoy's plan to reach Spock came to fruition on the day when McCoy unexpectedly dragged Spock away from Zarabeth’s arms. McCoy wanted Spock to wake up and realize the danger that they were in. But all that Spock realized was that McCoy had interrupted his romancing Zarabeth. This displeased Spock and he began to choke McCoy.

“She’s tricking you, Spock! You gotta listen to me! She wants to keep you here! And the planet is helping her! You are reverting back to the savage ways of your ancestors!”

“There is no trickery! I wish to stay here with her! You are the devil in this room, not her!” Hatred and anger flowed through Spock. His hand formed around McCoy's neck harder. All it would take would be a little more tightening and then a quick snap....

McCoy's head was pinioned up at an unnatural angle, but he could still look down into Spock's dark eyes filled with feral hatred. Where was the humanity? Where was the intellectual reasoning? Where was his friend?

"Is that what you want, Spock?" McCoy managed to rasp out. "Do you really want me dead?"

A picture of McCoy lying dead, unresponsive, and unreachable forevermore must have flashed through Spock's mind. He seemed to reconsider and loosened his deadly hold. But he did not release McCoy.

Spock might change his mind again at a moment's notice and act before McCoy could stop him. But McCoy must continue with his plan of trying to reach Spock. He must make Spock see reason. Surely, Spock hadn't reverted so far that he had forgotten all of his logic. Why, that wouldn't be Spock at all. McCoy hoped that there was still the sliver of the old Spock somewhere that he could still reach.

“I want to go back to my life!" McCoy beseeched. "And you need to go back with me! This isn’t your time! It’s back with me and Jim and the Enterprise!”

“No! I will stay here! And so will you! Everybody needs a faithful dog.” His twisted smile spoke of cruelty and savagery as McCoy gasped at the brutality he was facing. “And you will serve me well, Dog! But first you must learn to obey me without question!” He forced McCoy’s face into the cave wall and began tearing at the back layer of McCoy's animal skins.

“No! You can’t take me here!” He felt Spock forcing his legs apart as cooler air swirled around his naked hips. “Not here! Not like this! Not in front of Zarabeth! It’s inhuman! I'm not prepared! You'll rip me apart!”

“You said it yourself, Doctor. I am reverting. And now you will learn how far back I have traveled already. And you will learn to obey.” And with that, he began hammering into McCoy.

McCoy screamed and slumped against the wall, but he could not fall. Spock’s one hand held McCoy’s hands high above his head. That way, McCoy’s body was hanging, loose and pliable, so that Spock could get at him easier. Otherwise, he would have scrunched up and slowly slid to the floor. But he could not do that now. He had to hang there and take whatever was lunging into him. This way, McCoy was like a side of beef fully extended from the ceiling.

There was no way that McCoy could get away from his attacker.

There was no way that he could help himself.

There was no way that he could survive. Spock intended to end his life. McCoy shouldn't have stopped the choking. It would've been quicker.

McCoy had been correct in saying that sex could kill. He just had the wrong victim in mind when he'd said it. Now he realized that he had been predicting his own death.

Zarabeth grabbed at Spock's arm. "Spock! Stop! You are killing him!"

Spock did not pause in the rhythm of his lusty rutting. “He means to keep us apart, my love. I will protect us.”

“But not at the death of your friend! Spock! I cannot allow it! I cannot live with his blood on my head!”

Spock stopped and looked at her. “You wish to stop me?”

“He is your friend! His death, especially at your hands, would haunt you forever! You must not do this, Spock! As much as I want you to stay with me, I cannot allow you to harm him and thereby yourself! Your soul would die inside you! That is not what I want you to do for me! I could never ask it of you!"

Spock stared at her as her words gradually were forming meaning and logical arguments in his brain.

"Don't you see? It would destroy you. That would be worse than your body dying, Spock, for you would be an insensitive shell. You are no good to anybody if you lose your humanity. For without it, you would lose your soul.”

Spock slowly nodded.

“Now help your friend,” Zarabeth urged.

Spock roughly pulled his still erect penis out of McCoy’s body, and McCoy grunted when the piston that had been relentlessly ramming into him abruptly left. Its abrupt exit hurt almost as much as its ruthless entrance and threatened to make McCoy ill. Nausea was welling up into his mouth as he felt water forming in his cheeks, but he managed to fight it down. He knew that he was too weak to vomit, that he would choke on his own stomach’s contents if he could not suppress them. And he knew that he would be unable to keep himself from dying if he did begin to choke. He wasn't even certain at this point if Spock would even help him.

Trauma and shivering shook every fiber of McCoy. Outside of that, his body was in too much shock to react. He felt like thistledown on the wind, something that would ebb and flow in whatever draft of air that chanced his way. He was willing to lie back and float in that breeze if the excruciating pain in his trunk would go away and he could forget all of the madness of this ice world in the blanket of numbing unawareness.

But it was not to be. There was no solace or healing in this hellish place that had become his world and well might be the last world he would ever know.

“Come, lie down,” Spock urged as he nudged McCoy toward the shadowy nook where his fur-decked bower was located.

McCoy drew a ragged breath and saw black dots dancing in front of his eyes. He squealed unashamed as pain shot up from his rectum every time he tried to take a step to comply to Spock's command. As for hurrying the way that Spock wished, there was no way. He might as well lie down and die right here. In fact, that sounded like the best plan he'd had in a long time. Just lie down here and welcome Death. Those bony, white limbs exposed from its funeral robes looked inviting. Inviting, indeed--

But Spock was nudging his shoulder again, so McCoy tried one more step.

Then all the effort was too much for him. McCoy convulsed once, lost all of the strength that he had ever had, and swooned.

Spock caught McCoy up in his arms and dispassionately pulled his head to the side to study the pale, sweaty face of the unconscious man who lay wilted in his arms. McCoy looked indeed as if had expired, but then Spock saw that the remnants of McCoy's animal skins rose up and down slightly on his abdomen as his body refused to die.

“You need to help him,” Zarabeth urged. “He is so weak. He cannot last long if you do not help him.”

Zarabeth was right, Spock realized. Seeing McCoy so battered was a shock that reverberated through him. His friend was near death, and it was all his fault.

As McCoy hung limply in Spock’s arms with his own arms dangling, Spock carried the barely living man to the bed covered with animal hides. Spock gently deposited McCoy who groaned and whimpered as Spock pulled the bedding around him. Finally McCoy stilled, moved his lips, and opened his eyes.

”I… I… water,” he lisped as he tried to wet his dry lips.

Zarabeth urged a vessel containing water into Spock’s hands. Spock accepted it, sat on the side of McCoy’s makeshift bed, and held the liquid to McCoy’s lips.

McCoy sipped, then settled back with a sigh.

“I will heat the meat and broth,” Zarabeth announced to Spock. “It will give him nourishment.” She hurried away.

Spock continued to watch McCoy. Seeing McCoy almost die by his own hands had cleared much of the madness from Spock. Now he hovered with horror of what he had done to his friend and with fear for that friend's life.

Finally, McCoy gathered his strength and said in a tired voice, “I just had one helluva dream.”

“That was no dream, Doctor.”

McCoy stared hard at him. “A nightmare then. Because those were not the actions of the man I’ve known for years. That could not have been the gentle person I’ve always known.”

Spock turned aside and looked ashamed.

McCoy realized that Spock apparently had his right mind for a moment, and he decided to try to appeal to it. “Spock, this isn’t like you.”

Spock hung his head. “I know. I am ashamed. I should not have harmed you. It is as Zarabeth says. I hurt you, and now my guilt is great. I do not know why I have done these things to you. And not just now. But at night, between the animal skins, when we have lain together naked for hours. When I have whispered my desires and you have welcomed me. And I have not always been gentle. I should not have done those things. But that is not the worst of it.”

"Shh. No. That's the worst," McCoy soothed.

"No, no," Spock protested. Then he bit his lips together. “I do not know why I feel it in my soul to want to do it to you again.”

McCoy felt a perverse thrill, but his face looked appropriately horrified.

"It is inhumane of me to desire you so," Spock confessed. His voice shook with the emotion that was shaking him. “But I do.”

McCoy pursed his lips, willing to take a gamble because he might win big.

He could also lose big.

McCoy touched Spock’s arm. “I figure it’s because you have feelings for me. Latent feelings. Feelings that existed before we ever heard of this hellish planet. Feelings that only emerged because you’ve started regressing back to the ways of your ancestors and how they could not control their emotions. And you didn't know how to handle those feelings, so it all came out bad. But it’s all based on good feelings, because, deep down, you really care.”

Oh, how McCoy wanted to believe that. Oh, how he wanted Spock to believe it, too.

Spock turned aside. “I hurt you and I am sorry.”

“I know. But let’s move on. I’m interested in those latent feelings that you have for me.”

Spock looked back at him.

“Real interested,” McCoy reassured him.

“Doctor, I-- I do know what to do. I cannot love both of you equally.”

McCoy’s breath hitched and his eyes burned as he looked intently at Spock. Spock had just said a magic word. “I had no idea that it went that deep for you.”

“I know. You never had time for me back on the Enterprise. You never knew how someone who is shy about matters of the heart could feel.”

“But you should have said something.” McCoy frowned. “I am not without feelings myself. Hell, man, we’re friends. I would not have turned you aside. Neither one of us would’ve had to have been lonely for a long time now if you’d only spoken up.” He attempted a grin, but it came out kind of lopsided. "Hell, I could've had me a Vulcan. Didn't you think that I'd be proud of that? And damn appreciative? All you would've needed to have done was to have said the word, and I would've been all over you like a bucket of happy puppies."

"That is a good thing?"

McCoy grinned. "Puppies love you, no questions asked. It can be thrilling." He sobered. "I can be thrilling, if you'd only let me."

Spock looked at him sharply. “I did not know the words of love. Too long have I tried to deny them. And now, now, they will not come. Because words of love come from men. And I, I am not a man anymore. I am reverting back to something that I cannot even identify as a man. I am not fit for you or any civilized person to be around!”

Despite his pain, McCoy pushed himself up on his elbows. “Listen! It’s not too late! We can meet Jim and go back to our world! You can put this brutality all behind you again.”

Spock turned aside, but McCoy grabbed his arm.

“Besides, this isn’t where we are meant to be, not here in this isolated, doomed place. Our lives are elsewhere. We have to leave here, and we have to leave here soon!”

“He is right, Spock,” Zarabeth said as she stood nearby with the hot broth. It was evident that she had been listening for awhile. “Everything he said is true.”

The men followed her with their eyes as she approached McCoy’s bed and handed the bowl of food to Spock.

All was silence as Spock fed the nourishing broth to McCoy. McCoy and Zarabeth were silent. They both seemed to realize that Spock was thinking and mulling over his options.

Finally Spock handed the bowl back to Zarabeth.

“I will help him find his way, and then I will return to be with you,” Spock said, looking like he was bargaining with the Devil for his soul. His yearnings for this woman went deep. He was a male wanting to protect his mate. No sacrifice would be too great for him, even his real life in another place and time.

Zarabeth drew her breath in sharply, and McCoy realized that she had some vital information that was a crux to the whole notion of his leaving Sarpeidon. He didn't know what it was, but maybe he could force the truth out of Zarabeth. She was a good person with principles, even if she was lonely and wanted to keep Spock with her.

“Tell him, Zarabeth,” McCoy urged with burning eyes. He knew that she was holding back certain essential facts.

Zarabeth looked wild.

“Tell him! Tell him, or I will!"

He was bluffing. He didn't know the truth, but he could pretty well guess it. Spock could, too, if he only thought logically. But Spock was having trouble with thinking right now. Logic might be too far beyond him with all of the emotions that he was trying to juggle.

"Tell him, or he’ll grow to hate you!" McCoy continued. "No matter what, you gotta be honest with him! Or you’ll drive him away forever. He might be isolated with you on this planet at this time, but that won’t be enough for him eventually. He will never be yours again until you tell him the truth. And you better be telling him the truth right now!”

Spock looked at Zarabeth for clarification. “Do you know what he is talking about? What truth does he mean?”

“You both came here together,” Zarabeth murmured as she lowered her head. “So you must both leave together, or else the exchange won’t work.”

Spock looked shocked as what she was saying. Then it slowly penetrated the protective blocks that he had erected to keep the truth from himself. The unvarnished truth came flowing in like a cold tide off an arctic sea.

She looked into Spock’s eyes with silent pleading and terrible anguish. “McCoy cannot leave unless you do.”

Spock grasped at straws. "You will leave with us. The portal is wide and you are just a little wisp of a thing. We will put you between us to protect you."

But Zarabeth was shaking her head even before he finished his pretty speech. “It cannot be! I will die unless I stay here. That is my punishment to appease for the sins of my family. I must end my days here, or I will die before my time if I try to leave. So you must leave while you still have the opportunity.” There. The truth. But she so wanted Spock to stay. Her wistful eyes said that much.

“Is that all of it?” McCoy urged.

Zarabeth shook her head. “You must leave for McCoy’s sake, Spock, for he must escape or die. Already he is greatly weakened from when he arrived here. And that deterioration is not just from the cold weather and harsh living conditions. The planet itself is sapping his vitality. Just look at him. See how ill he looks?”

They both studied McCoy and noted how frail and listless he was. Spock could see that all that Zarabeth had said about McCoy’s health was true. McCoy was dying in front of their eyes.

Zarabeth continued. “I fear that McCoy will not last long in this environment. The planet must cause immediate weaknesses in humans, as it did in McCoy. Apparently, though, a hybrid such as yourself, Spock, has a better chance for survival. But not for long. The effects of the planet will eventually kill your human side, too. The planet influenced your Vulcan half socially and has caused primitive behavior to appear in you. And you will continue to revert further back to your savage ancestry, I fear. You may even go mad from the stresses working on you.”

”We could have a little while longer together, if we wish to dare the angels,” Spock pleaded as he grabbed her hand. “I am willing to take those chances for a little while longer with you. Then I would die happily with you!”

”Oh, if it was only meant to be! But McCoy is right. Your future is not here, not really. Yours and his futures are waiting for the both of you, back in your own time.” She grimaced. “Even if we could save McCoy’s life so that he could live a normal life span, it would not be good. His heart is against his staying here, as yours is wishing to stay. He will wither and die from the inside because his soul would not be at peace. He would miss his old world. If Sarpeidon did not kill him, his own anguish would. He has no future here as you do.”

”She’s right about me, Spock. I wouldn’t last long here.” McCoy studied his old friend. “And I have a child, Spock. I might be able to turn away from all of what’s waiting for me in the future: the Enterprise, doctoring, my past, even Jim. But I still have Joanna. The pull of fatherhood is strong. I must know how she fares with her life. I cannot leave my child.”

Spock slowly nodded as if the evidence was piling up enough to convince him. He could not ignore the logic of their arguments. He could not ignore the rightness of them, either.

Spock took a deep breath. “It is done then,” he announced in solemn tones. He looked at McCoy levelly. “We must find the portal and go through it. Together.”

Zarabeth gasped, but did not speak. She loved Spock enough to do what was best for him. And in not speaking nor arguing against his leaving did Zarabeth sacrifice her own happiness and show that she really did love Spock.

McCoy sighed in contentment and focused on gathering his strength against the brutally stormy weather that he knew he soon must be facing outside again. It helped that Spock had treated him as much as he could, but McCoy was still stiff. He was going home, though, so that gave him extra determination. He could almost feel renewed vigor pouring through his system with that cheering prospect.

But he felt sorry for Spock, too. He knew that love had never touched Spock's heart very much. It must be tearing Spock apart.

”Spock, I, I want you to know that I appreciate what you’re doing for me. I realize how difficult it will be for you to leave Zarabeth. I know that you two have grown quite fond of each other.”

Spock inhaled and straightened his posture. “I know where my responsibilities lie. I know my duty and I will perform it as I see fit.”

"I know you will," McCoy said softly. "But I'm still sorry for your pain."

”It cannot be helped.” He pursed his lips together. “But a part of my heart will always remain here with Zarabeth and our child.”

McCoy sucked in his breath as his blue eyes enlarged. "A child? There is a child on the way? Oh, Spock. Oh, hell. I'm sorry. I really am."

"It cannot be helped," Spock repeated. "What is meant to happen will happen in its own good time."

”That’s as it should be then,” McCoy agreed, hoping to give Spock some silent strength. “You can do nothing less.”

”Just as part of my heart will always be with you and Jim and the Enterprise.”

McCoy smiled. That was the way it should be, too.

Zarabeth had lowered her head and was weeping gently. Spock touched her shoulder in empathy and whispered soft words of comfort to her. They both knew that McCoy had been right. Zarabeth could not have done anything else but tell the truth to Spock.

For that’s all that one can do if wanting to keep the respect of a principled man such as Spock. Anything else would kill his love.

 

They staggered through the blinding snow, the three of them. McCoy walked slightly ahead of the grieving couple whose footsteps were heavy with the sorrow of parting. It was obvious that Spock and Zarabeth did not wish to be separated from each other, but circumstances were overwhelmingly against their staying together.

McCoy’s hands ran over the face of the granite wall in front of him. “It has to be here! It has to be here!” he muttered. “I remember it being about here!”

Zarabeth slipped a little on the ice, and Spock grabbed her elbow to steady her. She looked up and smiled her appreciation to him. All of her tender feelings of love went with it and momentarily blotted out her sorrow of their eminent parting. Spock smiled down at her, and it was as if the weak sun on Sarpeidon had parted the clouds and was giving them a promise of warmth that it could not supply. But it was enough for Spock and Zarabeth. At this point, they would take any crumbs of solace that they were offered. So few would ever be theirs.

“Here’s the portal!” McCoy announced as the wind and snow whipped around him. “I thought that I remembered that it was somewhere around here!”

Spock turned and grasped Zarabeth’s gloved hands as Zarabeth looked up at him with her heart in her beautiful eyes. “My love, I am so sorry to leave you--” Spock started.

”Come on, Spock! We can’t have very long to get back!”

“McCoy is right! Go!” she said through her tears.

”You know how I hate to go--” Spock started again.

”Yes! Yes!” she answered as her long russet hair whipped in the savage wind.

”But I must.”

”I know! I know!”

Spock bit his lips together. The moment called for a great thought, something to reflect his devotion and sacrifice, something that would contain the timelessness of his respect and ardor. “’I could not love thee, dear, so much, loved I not honor more,’” he quoted and felt the majesty of the words course through him. How it spoke of all that the moment signified to him! How it spoke of how greatly he valued her!

“What?” Zarabeth frowned in confusion as snow flakes sharply stung her eyelids as she tried to blink them away.

McCoy grabbed Spock’s arm. “Spock, she does not understand you! She has no reference point to understand what you’re talking about! She has no background in English literature as we do!”

Spock stared into Zarabeth’s eyes and tried again. “Here we are now. But...." He fought for the right words. "Another time, another place--”

Zarabeth looked confused again.

”Not that, either!” McCoy snapped. “Come on!” he yelled, pulling at Spock’s arm.

“Go! And my love goes with you!” she quoted herself and gave Spock a mighty shove.

McCoy yanked Spock’s arm and continued the momentum that Zarabeth had given them. McCoy could’ve never summonsed the strength on his own to pull Spock through the portal. But together, the pair managed to leap through the seemingly solid rock.

They arrived back in the library with a thud and a shower of wind-driven snow.

Startled by the noise their return had made, Jim Kirk whirled. A moment later he was ecstatic to see them. “Spock! McCoy! You’re back!” Then in the next moment he was grabbing a slumping McCoy whose strength had finally failed him. Pulling on Spock had been the last exertion that he could make. “Bones! What’s wrong?!”

“He is weak and injured, Captain,” Spock announced without much fanfare.

“Here, come here, Bones,” Kirk directed as he aimed them for a warmer part of the room.

“Wait,” McCoy said weakly and held out his beckoning hand. “Spock.”

“He’s right over here, Bones.”

They looked back at the man who had not moved away from the portal. Electricity seemed to flow between him and McCoy.

”I wish I would have treated you better, Doctor. I regret doing that harm to you.”

”I forgive you. You weren’t yourself. You didn't mean it.”

”Still, I regret it.”

”As you said, it is done. We move on from here, as if nothing had ever happened. The slate is wiped clean, as far as I'm concerned. We're still friends.”

"And the other?"

"We'll work on it. Together. Spock, just know this. I want something, with you."

Spock pursed his lips in thought.

Kirk grew impatient at their cryptic words. All of the obvious dramatics between those two could wait until they got back to the ship, Kirk decided. Danger still lurked for the three of them plus everyone on the Enterprise. “We must get ready to transport, gentlemen. Time is of the essence.”

But Spock was not hearing Kirk. He stared at McCoy, then reached out and ghosted his thumb gently over McCoy’s lips. McCoy stood as if mesmerized as he stared into Spock's dark, impassive eyes.

Finally, Spock spoke. “'I could not love thee, dear, so much, loved I not honor more,’” he quoted.

McCoy’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open in horror. “Spock! No!”

Kirk, not understanding, looked from one to the other. Something momentous was happening, but he knew not what. If he’d understood, he would’ve dropped McCoy and grabbed Spock. McCoy might’ve gotten a little bruised and shaken from his fall, but he was already such a mess both inside and out that another few contusions and abrasions weren’t going to make that much difference on him now.

No, Kirk made no move, despite McCoy’s squawking and feeble struggles to get free of him.

Spock glanced at Kirk. “Take care of him for me, Jim. I cannot watch him anymore.”

Then, with a final glimpse at McCoy, Spock turned and jumped back through the portal.

”No! No!” McCoy screamed as Kirk gasped with shock. He had just witnessed the apparent suicide of his friend.

McCoy slumped forward with arms flailing, and Kirk automatically caught him tighter.

Mr. Atoz, the librarian, used that opportunity to switch the program discs and jump into the portal so that he could join his loved ones in whatever historical era where they awaited him.

”Why did you stop me, Jim?!” McCoy demanded with tears flowing down his face. “I could’ve saved him!”

”I thought that you were falling, Bones.”

”I was trying to stop him! Now he’s lost! He’s gone back to her!”

”Her? Her, who?”

”Zarabeth! A cave woman!” McCoy was trembling as he mopped at his tears and not being very successful in stopping them.

Kirk frowned. “How far back did you guys go? I thought you just got caught in some winter close to the time where I was.”

”No, it was an ice age! A prehistoric ice age! And a beautiful woman who wore hardly anything under her animal skin draping saved us! And she’s pregnant now!”

Kirk’s head snapped back. His eyes narrowed. “How would you know something like that, unless….”

McCoy misunderstood. “I am not hallucinating! I did not go snow crazy! There is a beautiful cave woman! She saved us from dying in a blizzard, especially me! And she's carrying Spock's child, not mine! I was unconscious from illness for a lot of the time we were gone! They had plenty of time to dally together! And they did plenty of dallying, believe me! I never got closer to her than an accidental glimpse occasionally of the sweet promised land when she walked past me or bent over! Otherwise, Spock got treated to all of her sumptuous goodies.”

Well, that certainly seemed to disprove his theory about how and when some cave woman had gotten pregnant, Kirk decided.

And by whom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other references:
> 
> Seeing McCoy nearly die by Spock's own hands had cleared much of the madness from him. (Amok Time)
> 
> Kirk automatically held McCoy tighter.  
> "Why did you stop me, Jim?! I could've saved him!" (The City On The Edge Of Forever)


	3. Another Time, Another Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk and McCoy face a life without Spock in it.

"Sorry, Bones. I didn't mean to maul you like that." Kirk released his savage hold on McCoy who straightened himself and rotated his head around on his shoulders to show his disdain. "I was just trying to help."

”I know. I’m just glad you finally believe me,” McCoy muttered. Then his eyes snapped with blue fire. “And for your information, I did not go ape shit! That’s what Spock did!”

Kirk was furrowing his brow as he processed all of the new data. “You guys must’ve been gone a lot longer than I was, yet I left quicker and I just got back myself. And how did he have time to get some cave woman pregnant?”

”Spock’s been busy," McCoy muttered lowly. "Believe me.”

”I have to. With the results that he apparently got, I have to accept what you’re saying. I always knew that he was quick and powerful, but it’s almost unbelievable what he managed to do in the time frame that he had available to him.”

”I think that time must’ve been compressed somehow. It’s the only way that I can explain it. We were gone for days, even weeks. Or so it seemed to me. I was sick a lot, but it still seemed like we spent a long time there.”

”Interesting theory. And entirely feasible. Who knows what the effects of this planet and the forces working on it will have on any of us?”

"Well, I know what the effects were on Spock, and it wasn't very nice. You wouldn't have known him, Jim. He was becoming a savage. It scared the hell outa me seeing what happened to him. I hope for Zarabeth's sake that he never takes out his bad behavior on her."

Kirk saw McCoy take a painful step, then grimace. “What’s wrong with you?”

”Like I said, Spock’s been busy. The world we found affected Spock and made him revert back to the behavior of his ancestors, a behavior that was a whole lot more emotional and warlike than Vulcans try to behave during our time. Especially that Vulcan,” he added with emphasis.

Kirk frowned. “Meaning?”

“The reverting back really brought out sexual urges that he needed to satisfy, if you know what I mean. He really liked romancing, but there was only me and Zarabeth available. He kinda liked this new sexuality that he got bestowed upon him. And he was making up for lost time.” McCoy grew impatient at Kirk’s dense look. “Spock had a harem! Of two! He treated Zarabeth like she was an angel! And he wasn’t too gentle with me!”

Kirk looked aghast. “Oh, hell!”

”He seemed particularly pissed off at me. As if he had this uncontrollable passion for me and didn’t want to acknowledge it or to give into it, but he did. Brutally. And I kinda got used to liking what he did to me. Because it was, well, hell, it was Spock doing it to me. Our friend Spock. I’d like his sexual energy to be present in our time frame, except gentled down a whole lot. And maybe me being able to give him some more loving back. I got to do a little of what I'd like to do with him, but it was just a tiny start. But it's all waiting for him. It’s all stored up in me and about ready to explode. But he went back to her! And the shock of that hasn't really set in with me yet! And it ain't gonna be pretty when it does! Know what I mean?”

"I'm beginning to," Kirk answered, not quite knowing how he was supposed to be responding to this kind of information. "Our friend Spock did all of this to you?"

McCoy nodded. "Our friend Spock. Except this was a Spock I'd never met before."

"It must've been hell."

McCoy winced, happy that he was finally getting a little sympathy. But it was a hollow victory. For bad as the whole experience had been, he found himself missing it.

McCoy wet his lips. "But there were times. Other times. Times when he was tender. It wasn't too often. But he'd be loving, and it was the old, considerate Spock I used to know. Kind of a cross between the two. But a good cross. And he made me feel special. And needed. That's the guy I want back." He wet his lips again in remembrance as he stared off into middle space. "I can still feel his warm hands on my body. Touching me in places that had never been touched before. Making me feel things that I never even knew could be felt before. Probing me in all my secret places. I couldn't hide from him. And I didn't want to hide from him. I wanted to be everything for him. And he made me yearn for more touching, more exploring, more surrendering, more satisfaction...." His voice trailed off as perspiration threatened to pop out on his forehead. His eyes were beginning to glaze over because he hadn't blinked them for awhile.

”Oh, hell,” Kirk repeated with shocked eyes, yet with a little thrill of horrified voyeurism echoing through his voice. He could barely breathe and he realized that he was hardening in his trousers. He tried to wet his lips, but could find no moisture anywhere. His tongue felt like sandpaper and too big for his dry mouth.

”You got that much right,” McCoy muttered. He shook himself out of his reverie. "Anyway, that's what was going on down there between him and me."

”Yeah." Kirk shook himself, too, and filed away McCoy's description for those lonely nights when no one shared his bed.

Back to business, Kirk, the business of living so that others could.

Kirk frowned and forced himself to concentrate. "And we’ve still got to get out of here as fast as we can. This planet’s star Beta Niobe will explode at any moment. Everything’s gonna go nova around this solar system. It’ll be fireworks like we’ve never seen before. And I don’t wanna be a part of it. I'd like to be as far away as possible when it is destroyed.”

That stirred McCoy and he blanched. “But Spock. Spock is here. We can’t leave him! We have to find him!”

”But where would we start looking? We could go back to the ice age, but all we might accomplish is to get lost and get killed ourselves. We don't have the proper equipment. We could die from exposure.”

”Jim! It’s Spock, Spock we're talking about! Our friend Spock!”

”I know, but, Bones, think! There's us and a whole ship full of people depending on us--”

”I love him, Jim.” McCoy looked up at Kirk with humble, yet penetrating eyes. “I love him so much. And so do you. I know you do.” He shrugged. “But probably not in the same way, though.”

Kirk wiped his forehead. “Okay! We’ll try! We’ll probably die ourselves, but you're right! We gotta try!” He looked around. “Now where did Mr. Atoz leave the disc for the ice age?”

”Here!” McCoy shouted, scooping it up and ignoring the pain that raced through him. “Quick! In the machine!”

But before Kirk could comply, they both heard a disembodied voice calling to them.

“Captain! Doctor! Where are you?! I can hear you, but I cannot find the portal!”

”Taking care of that detail right now,” Kirk muttered as he slammed the disc home into the machine and threw the switch. “Spock! Try it now! Head for my voice!” he ordered, stepping close to the portal. McCoy was right beside him.

”I-- cannot--”

”Spock!” McCoy yelled. “Try! For the love of mercy, try! I need you back here with me, darlin!’ It ain’t no good without you! We need you! I, I need you!”

All was still on the other side of the portal.

"Spock! Please! Please! I can't lose you now! Now when you're so close! Darlin,' please!" McCoy stared at the portal as if his eyes alone could help Spock and make him appear back with them. McCoy could feel Kirk straining beside him and knew that Kirk was helping all that he could, too.

And maybe the mental effort from McCoy and Kirk helped, because Spock suddenly plunged into the library with snow swirling around him. He was swathed in animal skins and was crouched low to avoid the howling, tearing, snow-filled wind he had just left.

Kirk lunged downward, caught him up in his arms, and straightened with him in one smooth move. McCoy hovered nearby and touched his shoulder. Spock was real. In the same motion, McCoy leaned into Spock's back with a satisfied sigh and closed his eyes in contentment. The Triumvirate were back together again.

But still in danger. Sarpeidon could disappear around them at any moment in a flash of burning light, and they would all just be insignificant flashes of that heavenly display.

As Kirk clasped Spock tightly to him in his arms, he squinted his eyes and yelled into his communicator as strange winds began to swirl through the library. The end of Sarpeidon was beginning.

“Scotty! Beam three up! Now!” Then he tucked his head into Spock's shoulder, grabbed onto McCoy, and hoped for the best. They’d be transporting in one clump, but hopefully they would make it intact and not reappear back in the Enterprise as a blend of each other.

The three began to disintegrate as earthquakes started to rock the walls of the library. Shelves with their rows of destination discs began to sway, then started a chain reaction tumbling as the three spacemen disappeared completely. A section of shelving just missed them as it crashed down. In fact, they felt the breeze off it for their last memory of the doomed planet.

Kirk straightened in the Enterprise and let loose of Spock. “Bones. Take Spock,” he ordered as he stepped off the transporter pad. “Scotty! Warp speed outa here! Now!”

”Aye, Captain, ye got it!” He shouted the order to the bridge.

”Stress her, Scotty!” Kirk yelled as he stopped at Scotty’s elbow at the transporter controls. “She’s a good ship! She can take it!” His eyes shone with all the ardor and respect that he could ever give to any woman whom he had ever loved. Adrenaline poured through his system. This was the adventure he lived for. This was the action he craved. This was the experience of close calls that meant life to him.

”Aye, Captain, she’s giving it all she’s got and then some!” Scotty answered. "She's a grand lady, sir, and will do all she can for us."

They felt the thrusting of the Enterprise’s engines as they strained to comply with the stress they were being asked to endure. “Mr. Sulu was just waiting for the word, Captain. We’re leaving Sarpeidon even as we speak.” Relief reflected in Scotty’s voice. “High time, too, if you ask me, sir. It had to be close for us.”

”But we made it, Scotty.” Kirk slapped his chief engineer on his shoulder. "Good work."

"If you don't mind my saying, sir, you had me worried." His obvious relief was showing on his face.

Kirk gave him a fond look. "Me, too, Scotty. Me, too."

Their immediate danger passed, Kirk turned to his other friends. “McCoy! Spock! Are you guys alright?!” He saw McCoy bent over to check out the crouching Spock who still had not straightened upright.

”Spock! What’s wrong?! Are you injured?!” McCoy demanded of the man who leaned slightly away from him. “Don’t turn away! Are you dazed?! I’m trying to help you!”

”I know,” Spock said as he straightened fully. “I was trying to keep you from grabbing me and thus causing me to drop zar.”

”Zar?! What is a zar?!” Then he noticed that Spock was carrying a bundle. “What the hell do you have there?!” McCoy demanded. “What was so damn important that you had to drag it with you from that godforsaken planet?! It must be something more valuable than the most precious jewels in the universe.”

"Much more, Doctor." Spock pulled the animals skins aside that he was clutching. Inside lay a small baby with a lot of black hair and an angry expression on its puckered face. The tiny infant began squirming in the bright light and mewed its protest.

“Oh,” McCoy gasped with wide eyes. "Oh, my, my… stars,” he breathed with awe. “A… a child!”

"A child?" Kirk demanded as he crowded closer to look.

”My son Zar,” Spock said as if he was introducing them, which indeed he was.

”I’ll be damn,” Kirk exclaimed with a wide grin as he leaned toward the child. “Just look at you! And aren't you about the cutest thing that’s ever come aboard the Enterprise that I didn’t know was on its way?” His grin widened. “Hi, there, big guy! How ya doing?! Hmm? How ya doing?! Oochy, woochy, coochy, coo?”

Spock gave McCoy a puzzled look. “Oochy, woochy, coochy, coo?”

”A little known dialect on Earth,” McCoy explained. “It’s common among uncles, one of which I hope that I am.” He leaned toward the baby with a grin. “Look at that! He’s got the cutest damn pointed ears I’ve ever seen!” He glanced at Spock. “With one exception.”

A soft look from sparkling eyes passed between Spock and McCoy.

”Beg pardon, sirs,” Scotty apologized as he approached them. “But how could Mr. Spock come back with a baby? You’ve only been gone a couple of hours.”

”Well, I’m not exactly sure how he managed it, either, Scotty,” Kirk replied with a wise grin. “But we can’t deny the evidence now, can we?”

”Nay, we cannae!” Scotty agreed, his burr getting thick with his easy tears and deep feelings. “Not with those points on the top of his wee ears and all that black hair. You cannae go denying this one, Mr. Spock! The wean is ample proof. This is a chip off the old block, I'd say!” Then he got lost in his own admiration of the baby.

”Spock, where’s Zarabeth?” McCoy asked softly.

Spock looked troubled. “She died in an accident when Zar was just a few weeks old. I could not save her.”

”I am sorry.”

”The last thing she asked was for me to take our child away so that he could have a real life somewhere that was more than a land of ice and snow. Otherwise, I might have stayed on Sarpeidon and joined her in death, despite knowing that I had a life here in the Twenty-Third Century.”

"You had more than a life waiting for you back here," McCoy prompted.

"That is what I was hoping to talk with you about. Later. After Zarabeth is more of a beautiful memory and the pain is not so raw."

"Of course," McCoy said softly. "Anytime that you're ready. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you. I do appreciate it."

"Appreciation will have nothing to do with it. Get that straight right now."

"I am a lucky man, indeed, to have known two such loves as I have."

He and McCoy seemed a little embarrassed and could not quite meet each others’ eyes.

”You must understand how it was between Zarabeth and me. We had been so happy, just the two of us.”

”I cannot think any less of you for your feelings, Spock. I have loved a woman myself. I know what it is. What it could be. You were lucky to have had time with Zarabeth.”

Spock nodded solemnly. “I am glad that you understand.”

”I do.”

”And then, when we were three, we felt so complete,” Spock continued his story. “I should have known that it could not last.”

”Spock, I, I am sorry,” McCoy said.

Spock drew himself up. “I thank you for that, Doctor.”

”Here. Let me take him,” McCoy offered. “I’ll examine him.”

”You will find that he is in excellent physical condition. We produced a very healthy child.”

”I’m sure that you did. But just let me--”

”I can take care of my son,” Spock declared stoutly as he clutched his son tighter.

”I know that you can,” McCoy cajoled softly. “But just let me take him. Okay? You’ve had a great shock in losing Zarabeth. You will need to heal from that.”

”Just as you need to heal from your injuries.”

”I will,” McCoy muttered, wishing not to speak of it. “In time.”

”And will your heart heal from the pain that I have caused it?”

”I suppose. But it is unimportant.”

”It is to me,” Spock said forcefully.

”It is?” McCoy asked in amazement.

Kirk still hadn’t worked out exactly what had happened down on Sarpeidon between his friends, but he knew that other things were important now. He needed to get back to the business of running the ship. Besides, Spock and McCoy needed some privacy.

”Bones, why don’t you take Spock and, ah, Zar down to sickbay so that all of you can get checked out and healed up? I’ll be down to see you later.”

 

 

”Chapel and Uhura are going to be crazy about Zar,” McCoy noted a few minutes later as he led the procession down the corridor toward the turbolift. He glanced at Spock. “Everybody will.”

Spock’s only answer was to hold Zar tighter.

McCoy frowned. “You know that you won’t be able to hang onto him forever, don’t you?”

”Just for this moment. Can I just have this moment? Please?”

”What you’re feeling is nothing new, you know. It goes fast for any parent.” He glanced at Spock again. “If it’s any consolation, no matter how far away from you that they may eventually travel, they will never leave your heart. That’s one place where you’ll never lose them.”

”Thank you, for that,” Spock whispered.

”You’re gonna have a tough time of it, Spock, trying to raise a child by yourself.”

”I hope to have help from my friends.”

”You've got it.”

Spock bit his lips together. “I did not know if we were still friends.”

”Just as long as you want us to be. For my part, you’ll have one helluva time getting rid of me.”

”Thank you for that, too. I did not know how it would be with you and me. After what happened on Sarpeidon.”

”What happened down there, happened. We can’t deny it. But that was five thousand years ago. It’s in the past now. Literally.”

”To us, it was like yesterday.”

”To us, it was yesterday,” McCoy quipped with a wry look on his face.

”You do not seem to be taking any of this very seriously.”

”More seriously than you can imagine. Have you ever heard of laughing to keep from crying? Well, that’s what’s going on here.”

”I do not understand.”

”When we were stuck in the ice age on Sarpeidon, we each were affected by the planet’s influence. I was getting weaker while you were reverting further back to your primitive nature.”

”Yes.”

”So now we aren’t on Sarpeidon any longer, and I am getting stronger by the minute.”

”That is good news.”

”Thank you. And it also means that you are sloughing off your primitive nature and returning to your normal, enlightened self.”

”Actually, Doctor, that began while I was on the planet.”

”Oh?” McCoy asked with a frown as he saw his newfound theory losing credence.

”I also did not deteriorate as rapidly as you did, despite being half human. In fact, I flourished.”

”Well, there goes that theory, too.”

”Part of my better tolerance of the planet’s effects could’ve been because I did not have to suffer undue physical stress from having a half-crazed imbecile pounding away at my backside to relieve his frustrations.”

”Spock….”

”It is true. I also discovered that I quite enjoyed being in love. I enjoyed the experience very much. It has amazing restorative powers.”

”That it does, although it’s been awhile since I’ve experienced those benefits myself.”

”When I was alone with Zarabeth, I became more humane again. I believe it was because I was no longer torn between my love for the two of you. I belonged to Zarabeth exclusively, because I believed that I would never see you again.”

”Spock, you realize, I hope, that the feeling of ‘love’ that you were feeling for me down on Sarpeidon wasn’t really love. It was passion. It was sex. But it was not love. So it will be better for both of us if we just try to forget what happened between us down there and pick up our lives and friendship where they were before we beamed down to Sarpeidon. Just so you allow me to call you a ‘pointed-eared hobgoblin’ occasionally without threatening to kill me,” he joked.

”I will have more control over my emotions than to let some ill-chosen words upset me.”

”Good. Good. Well, we see eye to eye." McCoy felt an urgent need to move on. "Now, where in the hell is that turbolift?”

”Excuse me, Doctor, but did you revert to some primitive Earth nature on Sarpeidon, too? Is that where you are saying that your feeling for me sprung from?”

”Well, no, I--”

”I believe that we both had feelings for each other previous to our journey to Sarpeidon and that the planet just brought them out. Could you not agree to that theory?”

McCoy looked startled. “I suppose. Tell me, why are you fighting so hard to keep the idea of a romance between us alive?”

"And why are you fighting so hard to disprove it?"

"Because I don't want to force you into anything that you feel obligated to do in regards to me," McCoy mumbled.

"What if I want to feel obligated?" When McCoy didn't answer, Spock said, "What if it is not an obligation?"

"Why would you ever feel that way?"

”Because I cannot lose both of you in such a short period of time.”

McCoy slowly nodded. “That makes sense.”

”As I said, I found that I quite enjoyed being in love. I would like to continue a relationship of that sort. With you. If you are willing.”

McCoy shrugged. Why the hell not? It was a left-handed proposal, but still a proposal. He’d had worse and had offered worse. He’d survived those other relationships. He could survive this one. And he kinda liked being in love, too.

What amazed McCoy was that Spock thought that their relationship on Sarpeidon had been love. Wait until McCoy introduced him to the real thing. McCoy would have him singing in the shower in a week and snapping McCoy’s butt with a wet towel while McCoy would pretend that he didn’t want that kind of attention.

”Besides, I will need help with raising Zar. And you are a person of experience. You are the best man for the task.”

”So, you had an ulterior motive!” His face cleared. “Best man for you? I would be honored, sir. I would be honored indeed.”

”Thank you,” Spock said as he let out his breath. “I really would not know what I was doing with an infant. They do not come with instruction manuals, do they?”

Both men smiled nervously.

”You just love him, Spock. He's a boy. He'll love you back. That, and Mother Nature will take care of the rest."

Spock smiled down at the bundle he held. "I believe that I can do that."

"Uh, I know it’s too soon to talk about this, but it must be faced. He can’t grow up here, not on a spaceship.”

”Doctor--”

McCoy stopped at the turbolift. “Oh, he can have a few years with us. And we can teach him all sorts of knowledge and skills. All of his aunts and uncles can. And he will feel loved, because he will be loved.”

”That will be good,” Spock said with happiness.

”But there will come the time that he’ll need to know what rolling in the grass is like, or swimming in a cool river in the hot summertime, or standing at the top of a snow capped mountain, or so many hundreds of experiences that we won’t be able to give him here on the Enterprise. He can only learn of them on Earth.”

Spock bit his lips together. He knew that McCoy was right.

The turbo liftdoor opened, but neither man moved.

”That is when I want you to send Zar to Joanna,” McCoy said quickly. “She’ll be a teenager then and will love having a little brother whom she can show around and show off. And Jocelyn will be there, too. She’s one helluva mother. That much I know. But Joanna will be the main one responsible.”

Spock frowned. “But Joanna will be wanting her own freedom. Life will be opening up to her. She will not wish to be tied down to a child.”

”She will do it if she knows how important it is to us.” His voice softened. “She will understand how important it is for us to know that our two children will be together.”

Spock’s frown deepened. “You would want that? After what I did to you?”

”You did many things to me, Spock, but I realize the underlying cause for all of it.” His voice softened again. “And I think that we need to explore that underlying cause. Don’t you? I think that there’s something rock solid between us, and I don’t want either one of us to lose out on having it.”

Spock studied McCoy a moment, then handed over his precious bundle.

”Will you not carry our son, Doctor? I realize that I will be needing help with him after all. ”

McCoy smiled as he reached out and complied. The baby felt warm and comfortable and so familiar in his arms. McCoy’s smile deepened as he looked into the sweet infant face that was a miniature of Spock’s. McCoy felt his heart filling with love. How could he not treasure this child any less than its father?

Spock had just witnessed McCoy falling in love at first touch of the infant. It was the second time that McCoy had fallen in love with pointed ears.

“I can think of none better than you to be his father, also. Besides, I want him to learn to care for you as much as I do. But it can never be as deep as my affection for you .”

McCoy looked up with a glint in his eyes. “You realize that I intend to have you define how deeply this affection of yours for me goes, don’t you?”

”I am prepared. First, I will need to explain that it extends beyond the bedroom. But it may take a lifetime to define it to your satisfaction. And to mine.”

McCoy’s smile was gentle. “Take all the time you need, Mr. Spock. My time is all yours.”

Spock raised an eyebrow, so some of his old spunk was back. “I intend to have much more of you than your time, Doctor. Much, much more.”

McCoy raised an eyebrow of his own, but it was competing with the smile that was trying to spread across his face.

“Now, you’re talking!”

”Should we not use the turbolift before someone else calls it into service?” Spock inquired.

”Ever logical, ain’t ya?” McCoy teased as he stepped into the turbolift.

”Of course, Zar will attend Star Fleet Academy when it is time.”

”Whoa!” McCoy protested as the turbolift began to move.

”Did you lose your balance?” Spock asked with worry as he reached to steady McCoy.

”No. The Star Fleet Academy thing. That should be Zar’s decision, not yours.”

”I am turning into my father. Already,” Spock exclaimed with horror. Then he frowned. “Perhaps now I can understand my father’s position better. He wanted me to attend the Vulcan Science Academy, as he had done.”

”A child will make you understand your parents a whole lot more,” McCoy said softly. “They weren’t doing things to deliberately plague you. At the time, they thought that something was best for you, even if you couldn’t see it.”

”You will need to keep me practical on these matters, Doctor,” Spock said as he hovered over McCoy holding Zar so that he could keep them safe.

”We’ll help each other,” McCoy said softly. “What do you think about that?”

One of Spock’s hands settled on McCoy’s arm that cradled their son. “I like that idea very much, Doctor. Almost as much as I like you.”

McCoy grinned. “One thing about our stay on Sarpeidon. It did loosen your tongue.” His smile softened. “I think that I’m going to like this new you.”

”I hope that feeling will grow beyond liking.”

”I think that you’ll have nothing to worry about, just don’t be getting too big for your britches.”

”That will be when I will hunt you up to relieve me of my pressing problem in my, ah, nether regions, as you are so fond of calling the area below the waistband.”

”You’re getting awfully cocky,” McCoy joked with sparkling eyes.

”Please, Doctor, not in front of the baby. He would just be jealous of my good fortune.”

”My good fortune, too.”

”That is correct. I will always be willing and prepared to share the good fortune that rises to me.”

McCoy acknowledged Spock's double meaning. ”You are in rare form now and healing nicely from your Sarpeidon adventure.”

”I am happy and falling in love more by the minute. How else should I be acting ?” he said as he swooped a protective arm around McCoy’s shoulders and leaned in close to steal a kiss from McCoy before the turbolift stopped and opened its door for all to see the lovers embracing.

Tight in the cocoon between them, Baby Zar gurgled in happiness in his sleep. He’d been dreaming of the Angel Zarabeth who had just bestowed a kiss of blessing upon his brow before she fluttered away for good to her idea of Heaven. Her work was done. She knew that she had left her son in the hands of men who loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Other references:
> 
> As Kirk clasped Spock to him tightly in his arms, he yelled into his communication as strange winds began to swirl, "Beam up!" (Star Trek III: The Search For Spock)
> 
> Kirk straightened in the Enterprise. "Bones! Take Spock!" (Star Trek III: The Search For Spock)
> 
> "Oochy, woochy, choochy, coo!"  
> Spock gave McCoy a puzzled look. "Oochy, woochy, choochy, coo?"  
> "A little known dialect on Earth," McCoy explained. (Friday's Child)
> 
> "Best man for you? I would be honored, sir. I would be honored, indeed." (Amok Time)
> 
> "You just love him, Spock. He's a boy. He'll love you back." (Little House On The Prairie)
> 
>  
> 
> Ann C. Crispin wrote two novel sequels to "All Our Yesterdays", titled Yesterday's Son (#11), and Time for Yesterday (#39) (Simon & Schuster). They concern the story of Zar, the Vulcan/Earthling/Sarpeidonian hybrid son of Zarabeth and Spock. I borrowed Zar completely out of context and used him in a slightly different manner than the books by Ann C. Crispin relate.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines. I also do not own anything of the novels written by the late Ann C. Crispin nor do I represent her estate. I also do not own anything of Little House On The Prairie, its characters, and/or its story lines.
> 
> The works and quotes of Percy Bysshe Shelley are now in the public domain.


End file.
